May my fasting bring abundance
for the peace and security of a warring world…
May my almsgiving:
maternal LOVE for neighbor, a source
of offering not accepted nor understood,
be held in my heart as sacrifice
(Blessed Mother stood beneath the cross,
herself immolated, like Christ.)
But cleanse me, simple humanity–
of the bitterness of gall–for weak,
I have only Thy mercy…
Let my prayers for Thy Church
storm the gates of hell. My work?
To be the mouth, ear, and eyes
focused on the cries
of the poor…
being crucified like my Lord–
(when will it end?)
O Death! Count not
these martyrdoms
among your dominion…
these have pleased,
and have been gifted eternity.


This cracked, imperfect vessel
You have chosen to fill
with Living Waters pouring
from overflow down the well
of the abyss… of my soul…
meeting You in darkness
of cloud-cover. The clay swells
in the healing moisture of Your LOVE.
No more cracks or brokenness–
the pot grows
into the tenderness shown
by mercy so immense,
a treasure never seen or spoken
(oh, won’t they ever listen?)
O, Joy of my heart!
I plead! Never depart!
Do not leave this earthen urn,
again exposing old wounds
and scars to the light of scrutiny
from unseeing eyes… confounded.
Dependent only on YOU,
the progression of this unworthy life decays
to blossom forth anew in humiliation,
the gift of YOU, Blessed Redeemer–
hanging publicly on the cross–naked…
to show the stark revelation
of the dignity of being human
in communion…
with the smallest of the small,
and the most miserable of the miserable.
Meaning to the Divine Mind–
over-seeing and creating the Cosmos–
now in tribulation…
You bring the finest wine
to drink in celebration
of Goodness and abundance…
Your Master Plan.

I arise
to the tune of a hundred seagull cries…
mounting the skies
of a red-edged horizon…
Dawning of a new refrain,
awakening from yet another death–
and tomb un-gained.
Where to rest?
O Beloved Redeemer,
except as Your guest
in this nest of un-seeming
splendour and quiet:
a heart at peace.

The challenges uttered
by creation, untamed and beautiful,
means resurrection over-and-over.
They reflect Your glory:
Your life, Passion, and Resurrection
to ascend to heaven
(accompanied by friends
watching and waiting
for the final revelation).

Your healing, hardly in the hands
of humankind,
is the final answer.
“No more suffering, no more tears”
Your faithful promise.
If You please, Almighty One,
give to these–blind
though we be
by the complexities–
Knowledge of the Mysteries
so apparent before our eyes…
yet unseen through pride
(the final damnation), where we all fall–
some to be re-born
by the wings of Your grace
into the simplicity of Your LOVE
granted from time immemorial
to humble children. Rejoice, O Israel!

My dear friends of humanity: we are so loved and blessed!
If you will only open to the incredible LOVE and tenderness
by which God guides us to be our best!
…then no Earthly disaster, crisis of others’ doing,
or our own personality “foibles” which seem so confusing…
will be for naught but goodness…
through the LOVE of this Eternal Father–tending
His flock… if we will let Him.
He, Who so loves even Satan…
sorrowing for his conversion…
has turned all Satan’s actions into goodness:
if and only if we are willing
“to take up the cross and follow Jesus”–
in humility and thanksgiving.

He, so madly desiring our complicity…
in the LOVE abounding in the universe…
will send excruciating lessons–harder and harder–
to accomplish this task. For He is just–
the sins we ALL commit are horrendous…
we pay the penalty for ourselves and each other…
yet, in this, through Jesus’ saving act…
we eventually are exposed to the fullness
in which the LOVE of the Trinity
is given to us (if we are meek).
It is then the magnificence of God’s plan–
is revealed to His little ones (silently,
silently offering themselves up and to the sacrifice)
for humankind’s greatest gift of LOVE for each other–
is the offering of the self up to death and humiliation,
in service and in penance, for this “hard-headed”
generation and nation. Yes, it will all come to good!
God has this Cosmos well “in hand”. Come!
Join me in glad adoration!

A continuation of yesterday’s post…

Beloved, Jesus’ words were “do not fear”…
over-and-over these words reoccur.
How does one reject it when…
Satan seems to have overrun the world?
From personal experience of the Saints…
(Teresa of Avila) even she had a “place in hell”
reserved by her Majesty and King… for–
none of us is exempt: we all have “ego”; even more
like the angels, we can fall into the depths
of degradation (hence Lucifer)–it has crept
into our society like no other…
each of us “demonizing” his brother–
“convicting” him when
often we know not what we speak…
hence becoming ourselves the butcher
and condemning him to death–
when Christ and the Church
know transformation and resurrection
are the goal… It was Judas, himself,
who took the final step–committing
himself to hell (we think). Will we do
the same with our free will? Few
now seek the work needed to resist
“the fiend”… few avoid the power
they know corrupts… and want the glory
the world offers. Having been beaten-
down, I know the comfort in being no one–
to face the Lord, my Maker, with heart open
to His scourging. Too long coping
with the exigencies of a “world gone mad”
my hope now–only heaven! I’m glad–
in truth–the world no longer holds its sting…
And Satan, himself, will bring
me home to the ONE I adore–
yes, I’ll do battle, Lord…
as You cleanse my life… my heart
with the ferocity You endured. Do not part,
from it, My Majesty–for I will fall
into the abyss of depair when sinning walls
me from the purity You so desire–
without You, we cannot go higher
than the pit we so abhore.
Blessed Redeemer–please don’t leave me!
Thy will be done!

On hearing a marvelous Dominican priest on “the dark night of the soul”…

Sitting and sorrowing…
the sins of mine and my brothers…
descend on this weary soul–following
Calvary to the bitter end, my Mother…
you who have protected me so faithfully.
As this pondering came to fruition–
my LOVE increasing all the while for my brethren…
God’s Master Plan became so clear in that moment–
Evil and Satan won’t win–and will be cast into hell
only because of their pride and wish to be like–
God, in His Majesty. It is not that God doesn’t LOVE
the “father of lies and deceit…” (he is loved intensely)
but the utter denial of the need for humility… is enough
to drive him to destruction… the pit. But God
in his mercy, Who knows much better than anyone–
choses to use this demon of hate and enmity…
to perfect those who are His. Does this seem so strange,
those of you who do not know God’s Holy Name?
For those asking “why does God let innocent people suffer?”
I ask you, “do you not want to be better and better?”
Would you rather go down the same road as Satan?
For the rich and proud are what is the matter
with the world… as it is in this culture. No need
for reason to discipline for the purpose of our King–
we can do what we want for ourselves, they sing.
So where will you go at the next earthquake or tsunami?
When will we be given the ability to control these–
must less the Cosmos exploding… oh, pay heed,
those of you who are so able… it is the “heart of a child”
that enters the Kingdom of Heaven. Simple and meek,
we use what we have in our own capacity–uniquely
made for building that Kingdom. “One cannot
just imitate the Saints–one must find one’s own way,”
said my mentor. Believing wholly in God’s
power to turn my bubbling into goodness…
I took on the world and its unhappiness.
Oh, Blessed Redeemer–it is YOU with the answers…
to the questioning and hurting world’s futility:
Let Your peace reign now, at least for a little–
My dear Spouse, I long to be near You…
in Your pierced and bleeding heart for this creation
that reflects Your caring for the whole human nation.

Dear Beloved,

To think we can label the individual–
uniquely created by God as His child…
with psychiatric diagnoses (even given by a “doctor”)
is doing a dis-service so intense…
it has contributed to the “culture of death”
we battle in this nation.
Those poor unfortunate people–
now have something “to live up to”…
trying unmercifically to please others–
devoid of the LOVE of their Creator…
they harness of powers of darkness–
so their brains’ capacity for transformation…
given us as our Divine inheritance…
no longer matters or is gained.
The excuses we give to “drop out”
when the going gets markedly tougher–
for the stigma, complete and damning…
is the reason the disease isn’t curable.
We do to ourselves what we want–
not realizing we were made for something higher,
we are NOT the sum total of hormones
or even neuroreceptors…
Psychiatry is an mis-created science–
doing more damage than helpful…
from this view-point (a career nurse in the field)
there is no such thing as incurable illness.
The cure here is worse than the “disorder”–
fostering helplessness and an ongoing dependence…
“medications” are drugs that will kill you…
so powerful they simply cause destruction–
used indiscriminately and for a lifetime…
they destroy the body and its members.
No way to learn to cope with the vicissitudes…
now unable to “think the way out of a bag of paper”…
so doped and so terribly ill-feeling:
the body responds with movement problems
(I’d want to get away, too, when feeling that badly).
When research now shows that the diet–
controlled and healthily balanced…
is far more effective and good-tasting.
For we are NOT to control another’s journey–
nor place him in eminent danger…
nor decide for God who this person is becoming–
like the “butterfly emerging from the crysalis”…
we are able to transform over and over,
not victims of the past–but the present,
each moment is what we make it…
We are given the grace of conversion.
P.S. St. Catherine of Sienna, Doctor of the Church,
by today’s standards had an eating disorder…
what is this world coming to?